LMBO

Category: Girls

A reply text from a 38 year old #woman, “LMBO”. Should I tell her that doesn’t quite make sense or assume she is not a really a woman?

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Vegetarian’s nightmare

Category: Dave and Jimmy – WNCI

Kelsey’s nightmares consist of her accidentally eating meat.  A vegetarian nightmare…

Jimmy feels the future marriage will be call a “long term monogomous relationship” and will be a five year contract.

From Dave and Jimmy morning show on WNCI on June 14th.

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Mustaches are Cool

Scene:  At a cafeteria
Who:  Man and little girl, about 8 years old.
Conversation:
     Girl:  “I have a grandpa and he is tall like you.”
     Man:  “Really, what is his name?”
     Girl:    She stutters, thinks then comes up with, “I don’t remember his name, but he has a mustache”
     Man:  Holding back laughter he says, “I like mustaches too.”
-submitted by Jeremy-

 

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Football isn’t for girls!

Scene: At a women’s tackle football game (Columbus Comets)

Who:  Mommy and Dane, 3 year old boy.
Background:  Dane has never seen football on TV or live.  As he was approaching the field sideline he says about the girls in uniform on the sidelines…
     Dane:  ”Mommy, why are those girls by the field?”
     Mommy: “Because this is a girl’s football team, those are all girls playing.”
     Dane: “Silly mommy, those are boys on the field, the girls are just standing on the side lines.”
-He has never seen football before, where did he get that idea already!-
-submitted by Susan-
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Milk Everywhere!

Scene: Eating Lunch at Kitchen Table, Baby Brother just spilled milk on the floor.

Who: Mommy and Theo, a four year old boy

Conversation:

Mommy: “Uh, oh spilled milk.”

Theo: “Did it go everywhere?”

Mommy: “Yep”

Theo: “Did it go on the floor?”

Mommy: “Yep”

Theo: “Did it go all over the stairs?”

Mommy: “No…silly”

Theo: “Well then it didn’t go everywhere, everywhere would be all over the place. We would have to get out of the house.”

Mommy: “You are right..it isn’t everywhere.”

Theo: “Bad girl mommy, you shouldn’t say everywhere if you didn’t mean everywhere”

-submitted by Jennifer-

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