Page on Hold

Either people have stopped saying funny things or, the creator of this page is taking a break!  Yep, the creator is taking a break.  I will hopefully be back online soon!

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Spare Kitty

Category:  Kids

We recently had to put one of our two cats down (he was 15 years old).

Mom: “Are you sad about Willy? Do you miss him?”

Son(4): “No….but…are you sad?”

Mom: “Yeah, I miss him.”

Son: “Don’t worry Mommy, we have still have another one.  But she doesn’t really like people much.”

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Waiting to Die

Category: Just Somebody

I was in an hotel one night when a huge storm came through and tornado sirens sounded at 1:00 a.m. Everyone in the hotel gathered in a lobby area when a random guy came running in and says, “This looks like a room full of people waiting to die!”

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Jimmy Jam WNCI june 13

Category: Dave and Jimmy – WNCI

Jimmy: If I wanted to take a pot smoker I could just take Ghandi, not an ex-con.

Jimmy: I don’t understand why people get busted for domestic violence when all they need to do is deny it ever happened. He is he said she said.

Jimmy to Dave: You have never put vodka in a water bottle to sneak it in someplace?

_all paraphrases from Dave and Jimmy show on WNCI on June 13th.

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People Have Meat Inside Them!

Who:  Mommy and Walt(4)

Walt: “Grandpa likes to hunt and then eat the meat.”

Mom: “Yeah”

Walt: “Yeah, and did you know we eat dead people.?”

Mom: “What?  No we don’t eat people honey.”

Walt:  ”But they have meat in them!  And…they don’t need it anymore.”

Mom: “Sweety, we don’t eat people.”

Walt:  ”Why not?”

Mom:  ”I imagine it doesn’t taste good. Sometimes dead people give their organs to people though.”

Walt:  ”What is an organ?”

Mom:  ”Heart, liver..parts of your body. They do it so the sick person can live longer.”

Walt: “Sort of like changing a spare tire on a car?  So the car can go farther?”

Mom: “Yep, just like a spare tire.”

Walt: “How would you get the organ out if you don’t have a knife with you?”

Mom: “The doctor does it at the hospital.”

Walt: “Sort of like a tow truck brings a car back to the garage to get fixed?”

Mom: “Yep”

Walt: “Then the sick person puts it in their mouth to get it in them?”

Mom: “Nope, the doctor puts it in them.”

Walt:  ”But how?”

 

-The conversation went on for about thirty more minutes…..

 

-Submitted by Kimberly-

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Little People

Who: Son(4) and Mommy

We were on a bike ride and my son was in the bike trailer.  A little person walked by us. My son screams (so I can hear on the bike)….

Son: “Mommy, that person was a little person.”

Mommy: “It isn’t nice to point those types of things out honey.”

Son: “But why?  She was a pretty little person.”

Nice recovery son!

-Submitted by Lisa-

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People making machine

Scene: Cuddling just before bed in the dark, eyes closed.

Who: Mommy and 4 year old son, Walter.

Background and Conversation:

Walter: “I wish there was a people making machine that would make people that can cuddle forever.”

Mommy: “Oh, that is a good idea.”

Walter: “The machines would all have a sticker on them that would tell you what type of person it is making for cuddling.”

Mommy: “Interesting”

Walter: “Mine would have a picture of you on it and would make you so we could cuddle forever.”

Mommy: “Ahhh, that is so sweet honey.”

Walter: “Yeah, and then when we are done cuddling it would suck you back up into the machine.”

Mommy:..laughter…

-submitted by Kimberly-

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