LMBO

Category: Girls

A reply text from a 38 year old #woman, “LMBO”. Should I tell her that doesn’t quite make sense or assume she is not a really a woman?

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Age Conditioning

Category:  Doctor

I am an athletic 37 year old but seem to be falling apart. My sports med doctor told me, “When you were younger, you could use soccer as conditioning.  At your age now, you need to condition to play soccer.”

-Thanks Doc!

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Come to Class

Category: Students

A college student told me that he felt he didn’t have to come to lecture because he has old homework and exams from previous students and can learn everything from those.

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What’s a what?

Who: My two boys, one is 10 years old the other 14

Always in the car, My youngest ” mom what is a herpes?” Me ” What, why do you want to know that?” Youngest replies while looking at older brother sitting next to him in back seat ” cause I think he’s got some!!!!!”

-submitted by Diana-

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Gotta Love The Logic

Who: Girl – 8

Background and Conversation: “After all the money we’ve invested in your education, I’ll probably need to live in your basement in my old age. But don’t worry, I’ll be there to watch your kids,” my niece told her eight-year-old daughter.

The little girl gave her mother a serious look and said, “I am definitely not leaving my kids with an old lady who lives in a basement.”

-submitted by Kim, @kimbussey1, http://purrfectmess.familyblog.com/-

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Mustaches are Cool

Scene:  At a cafeteria
Who:  Man and little girl, about 8 years old.
Conversation:
     Girl:  “I have a grandpa and he is tall like you.”
     Man:  “Really, what is his name?”
     Girl:    She stutters, thinks then comes up with, “I don’t remember his name, but he has a mustache”
     Man:  Holding back laughter he says, “I like mustaches too.”
-submitted by Jeremy-

 

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Football isn’t for girls!

Scene: At a women’s tackle football game (Columbus Comets)

Who:  Mommy and Dane, 3 year old boy.
Background:  Dane has never seen football on TV or live.  As he was approaching the field sideline he says about the girls in uniform on the sidelines…
     Dane:  ”Mommy, why are those girls by the field?”
     Mommy: “Because this is a girl’s football team, those are all girls playing.”
     Dane: “Silly mommy, those are boys on the field, the girls are just standing on the side lines.”
-He has never seen football before, where did he get that idea already!-
-submitted by Susan-
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Milk Everywhere!

Scene: Eating Lunch at Kitchen Table, Baby Brother just spilled milk on the floor.

Who: Mommy and Theo, a four year old boy

Conversation:

Mommy: “Uh, oh spilled milk.”

Theo: “Did it go everywhere?”

Mommy: “Yep”

Theo: “Did it go on the floor?”

Mommy: “Yep”

Theo: “Did it go all over the stairs?”

Mommy: “No…silly”

Theo: “Well then it didn’t go everywhere, everywhere would be all over the place. We would have to get out of the house.”

Mommy: “You are right..it isn’t everywhere.”

Theo: “Bad girl mommy, you shouldn’t say everywhere if you didn’t mean everywhere”

-submitted by Jennifer-

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