Category: Kids

Son(3) wakes up in the the middle of the night screaming. I went in there to see what was wrong.  He had his hands in his mouth and was yelling, “Help me!  The cavities, they are attacking my teeth!”

GD Star Rating

Waiting to Die

Category: Just Somebody

I was in an hotel one night when a huge storm came through and tornado sirens sounded at 1:00 a.m. Everyone in the hotel gathered in a lobby area when a random guy came running in and says, “This looks like a room full of people waiting to die!”

GD Star Rating

Ambiguously Annoying Person

Category: Just Somebody, Customers

I called a physical training type place (MAT) today to ask some questions. This was the conversation:

Me: “Hi, I was wondering how much a visit costs?”
Ambiguously Annoying Person: “We can’t determine that until you come in and we see you.”
Me: “Well I would like to know just how much an hour is, or a ball park.”
AAP: “Well, we need to see you to discuss cost. Do you have any other issues?”
Me: “Ok, time is an issue for me. It is difficult for me to get to appointments due to kids and work. About how often would I need to come?”
AAP: “That depends on you and what you need.”
Me: “I understand but in general do people go every day or once a week? Thirty minutes or an hour?
AAP: “It really just depends on you, you can do thirty minutes, you can do an hour, we need to see you first.”
Me: (Laughing a bit at this point), “Ok, well what times do you guys operate?”
AAP: “We are by appointment.”
Me: “Yes, but what times of day do you take appointments?”
AAP: “What would you like?”
Me: “I am just wondering, if you take appointments early in the morning and late at night, before and after work.”
AAP: “What works best for you?”
Pause with me sort of snickering (AAP must have read that my “energy” level was off)
AAP: “I can tell that you need our services, why don’t you come in for one free initial visit and we can discuss.”
Me: “As I said before, time is an issue for me. I would like to learn more about your services before I take the time out to see you.”
AAP: “Well maybe you should just try physical therapy with your doctor for a bit and if it doesn’t work come and see us…we will still be here.”

Oh my fucking god….please just answer one question!

GD Star Rating

Momma’s Cookin, 2

Category: Kids

This is a continuation of Momma’s Cookin’.

This morning my Son(4) told me this story:

Son (4): Mommy last night in the middle of the night I heard this sound (he sings the Super Why song) and I knew there was a problem! So, I turned into a super hero and took out my telescope (he puts his fingers around his eyes like binoculars) and looked out the window. There was a bad guy in the street. I knew just what to do Mommy!

Mom: Oh? What was that?

Son: I threw him some of those cookies you made the other night and they killed him! They killed him Mommy. My super hero powers and your Mommy cookies saved the day!

I am thinking… I take this as a compliment or do I need to adjust my cookie recipe?

GD Star Rating