Gonna Rip

When I was young (in the late 80s) I used to be concerned about what my stomach looked like when I was sitting in a swimsuit.  My mother always told me, “You have to have the ripples, otherwise when you stand up you would rip!”


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Not enough room on the earth

I asked my mother when I was young why people got cremated. She said, “Sweetie, there just isn’t enough room on the earth to bury everyone.”  We lived in the Bay Area, CA.  That one statement panicked me for life (now 37).  I thought we were having a major space issue.  While this is a concern, I don’t think it is as dire as her statement made is seem.

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Singing at the Table

My mother always told us that we were not allowed to sing at the table during dinner.  I have no idea why this was an issue.  She never said, “no toys at the table”, “no feet on the table”, instead “no singing at the table.”

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Football isn’t for girls!

Scene: At a women’s tackle football game (Columbus Comets)

Who:  Mommy and Dane, 3 year old boy.
Background:  Dane has never seen football on TV or live.  As he was approaching the field sideline he says about the girls in uniform on the sidelines…
     Dane:  ”Mommy, why are those girls by the field?”
     Mommy: “Because this is a girl’s football team, those are all girls playing.”
     Dane: “Silly mommy, those are boys on the field, the girls are just standing on the side lines.”
-He has never seen football before, where did he get that idea already!-
-submitted by Susan-
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Milk Everywhere!

Scene: Eating Lunch at Kitchen Table, Baby Brother just spilled milk on the floor.

Who: Mommy and Theo, a four year old boy


Mommy: “Uh, oh spilled milk.”

Theo: “Did it go everywhere?”

Mommy: “Yep”

Theo: “Did it go on the floor?”

Mommy: “Yep”

Theo: “Did it go all over the stairs?”

Mommy: “No…silly”

Theo: “Well then it didn’t go everywhere, everywhere would be all over the place. We would have to get out of the house.”

Mommy: “You are right..it isn’t everywhere.”

Theo: “Bad girl mommy, you shouldn’t say everywhere if you didn’t mean everywhere”

-submitted by Jennifer-

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