Penguin Hole

Category:  Kids

Son(4) said his stuffed penguin’s parents said,”We can find his mommy and daddy in a hole that has ice in it and a picture of a  pig.”

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The McDonald’s Oil Change

Who:  Mommy and Son(4)

Mommy said to Daddy, “I need to get an oil change soon.”

Son said, “Oooh, we can go to McDonalds, YIPPIE.” while jumping around excited.

Mommy, “Why are we going to McDonalds?”

Son, “For an oil change right? Grandma said they cook the french fries in oil.”

-While I am glad he understands oil is bad for you, I am not sure why he continued to eat french fries when he thought they were cooked in car oil!

-Submitted by Cindy-

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Happy Mother’s Day!

Who:  The whole family, two sons (1 and 4), Daddy, Mommy, Grandpa and Grandma.  Mommy wrote the story.

For Mother’s Day I bought 5 dessert cookies for 6 people figuring Daddy would share with the baby since isn’t too big on sweets.  My four year old son had something different in mind.  While pointing at the cookies he said,

Son (4): “This one is for Grandma, this one is for Grandpa, this one is for Daddy, this one is for Elliot (1), this one is for me.  And if Mommy wants one, well….she can go make herself one.”

Happy Mother’s Day to Me!

-Submitted by Laura-

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Lots to do!

Who:  Mommy, Daddy and Ryland (4)

Sitting around the patio at night.

Mommy: “We have to round up the yard, mow the lawn…” sigh

Daddy: “Vacuum, clean the bathrooms…” sigh

Ryland: “We have a lot to do around here.”

Mommy: “You are right Ryland, which one do you want to do.”

Ryland: “Do we need to take a bath? I can do that to help clean.”

-Submitted by Laura-

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Oh my Gosh School

Who:  Mommy, Daddy and Jack (4)

Mommy, Daddy and Son were all eating dinner together.  Mommy was having a hard time with something so said, “Oh my God.”.

Jack :  ”Mommy, don’t say God! Say Gosh!”

Mommy: “Oh yeah, sorry, I need to learn how to say Gosh.”

Jack: “Yeah, you need to go to Oh My Gosh school. They will teach you how to say Gosh there.”

Mommy: “You are right.”

Jack: “You won’t learn that at work.”

He is so right too! I would only learn back words at my work…

-Submitted by Jennifer-

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We are having a baby!

Who: Mommy, Daddy, and Joey (5)

Background and Conversation: My husband and I were trying to have a baby. Daddy came home from work and talking to son, Joey (5), in the front entry. Mommy was outside.

Joey: “Daddy, Mommy is having a baby!”
Daddy, totally excited: “What! We are! That is great Joey.”
-Daddy thought Mommy had sent Joey with the news
Daddy to Mommy: “Joey just told me I am so excited.”
Mommy: “Huh?”
Daddy (with a change in face): “Joey just told me you were pregnant. Didn’t you send him?”
Mommy: “No…Joey where did you get that?”
Joey: “I heard you tell Grandma on the phone.”

-I had told Grandma, “It isn’t like I am going to have a baby.” during a conversation..Joey must have missed the first part. Oops. It was all in good fun, we did get pregnant, and have a wonderful baby boy.

-submitted by Ginger-

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Baby’s Daddy

Scene: 1st Grade Classroom

Who: My brother in first grade show and tell.

Background and Conversation: My brother’s first grade teacher asked if he had something to share with the class during show and tell. He couldn’t remember what he was going to say, so the teacher prompted him by asking if it was about his mom. He suddenly remembered, “Oh, yeah! My mommy is going to have a baby. We won’t know who the daddy is until it’s born and we see what color hair and eyes it has.”

Our cat was about to have kittens. When we asked who the daddy cat was, our parents told us that we would have to wait until the kittens were born. Then we would know who the daddy cat was based on what color fur and eyes the kittens had.

-submitted by Andria-

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Somebody Put Me In Wet Pants!

Scene:  In the middle of the night

Who:  Daddy and Walt (4)

Background and Conversation:

Walt (over the monitor):  ”Daddy!  Someone put me in wet pants!”

Daddy: “Did you peè your pants bud?”

Walt:  ”No, someone came in here and put me in wet pants!”


Walt: “You need to put me in dry pants!”

Daddy: “Ok, I’ll be right up.”

In the room

Walt: “I don’t know who it was, they just came in here and put me in wet pants.”

Daddy: “Did they change your shirt too?”

Walt:  ”Nope, it is ok.” (With a very matter o’ fact voice and attitude)

-Submitted by Kimberly (listening to all this through the monitor)-

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Scene: Eating dinner

Who: Just Mommy and Tyler (4) were in the room.

Background and Conversation: Tyler: “Daddy said you were a fat dog.”
Mommy: “What?”
Tyler: “Yep, we were outside and he was talking to a Mr. Jeff [neighbor on the left] and he said you were a fat dog.”
Mommy: “What exactly did he say?”
Tyler: “He said Bailey is a fat dog.”

We have new neighbors [on the right] with a dog named the same as me….Bailey. Tyler doesn’t know the dog’s name yet. Daddy is off the hook:)

-submitted by Jerry—

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