Clown Song

Category:  Kids

Mommy: I think I will be a clown for halloween.

Son(4):  Then you can make up your own clown song Mommy. It will go, “I am a clown, I have a big red nose, but it isn’t really a nose, it is a big bleeding thing.  I was driving in my race car, really really fast, when bees flew…all over my bleedy nose.  I landed in a ditch then and I tractor came to me…and helped my bleedy bee nose.”

(Said in a singing tone.)

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Money Blows To Us

Category:  Kids

My son (4) found money in the car door handle compartment area and says, “Mommy, do you know how money got in here?”
Mommy:  ”No, how”
Son:  ”A big wind came and blew it out of someone’s hands and then it landed in our car.  It always lands in this car because it is money’s favorite car.”
Mommy: “Why?”
Son: “Black is money’s favorite color…so….it likes our car.”
Mommy is thinking, SCORE!  Money blowing into my car doesn’t sound bad!

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Two Axles

Category:  Kids

Daddy and Tyler (4 years old) were building a car using a kit.  Daddy was, on the side, talking to Mommy about a work situation in which he was having some issues with two people at work.  Daddy said to Mommy at one point…

Daddy: “Yeah, I just need to figure out what I am working with.”

Tyler: “Daddy, you are working with two axles.” – But axles didn’t sound a bit more like “bleep-holes”

Tyler was just point out what Daddy had in his hands to build the car.


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People Have Meat Inside Them!

Who:  Mommy and Walt(4)

Walt: “Grandpa likes to hunt and then eat the meat.”

Mom: “Yeah”

Walt: “Yeah, and did you know we eat dead people.?”

Mom: “What?  No we don’t eat people honey.”

Walt:  ”But they have meat in them!  And…they don’t need it anymore.”

Mom: “Sweety, we don’t eat people.”

Walt:  ”Why not?”

Mom:  ”I imagine it doesn’t taste good. Sometimes dead people give their organs to people though.”

Walt:  ”What is an organ?”

Mom:  ”Heart, liver..parts of your body. They do it so the sick person can live longer.”

Walt: “Sort of like changing a spare tire on a car?  So the car can go farther?”

Mom: “Yep, just like a spare tire.”

Walt: “How would you get the organ out if you don’t have a knife with you?”

Mom: “The doctor does it at the hospital.”

Walt: “Sort of like a tow truck brings a car back to the garage to get fixed?”

Mom: “Yep”

Walt: “Then the sick person puts it in their mouth to get it in them?”

Mom: “Nope, the doctor puts it in them.”

Walt:  ”But how?”

 

-The conversation went on for about thirty more minutes…..

 

-Submitted by Kimberly-

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What’s a what?

Who: My two boys, one is 10 years old the other 14

Always in the car, My youngest ” mom what is a herpes?” Me ” What, why do you want to know that?” Youngest replies while looking at older brother sitting next to him in back seat ” cause I think he’s got some!!!!!”

-submitted by Diana-

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Race Car

Category: Kids
Who:  Mom and Walt (4)

Walt and I went to get swim passes for the summer and they actually took a picture of him and gave him his very first “ID”. He was very proud of himself.

Mom: “Ahh, you are getting so big honey, don’t grow up too fast.”

Walt: “Why not?”

Mom:  ”Someday you will want to move out and Mommy will miss you.”

Walt” “Don’t worry Mommy, I will own a sports car and a truck. I will use the sports car to drive really fast to you every day.  Whenever you call, I will drive really fast to see you.  The truck is in case people need stuff carried, it is a dump truck.”

Mom: “Oh boy, you are going to need a pole barn to store it.”

Walt: “Bampa [Grandpa] has a pole barn. I will move in with them.”

Mom:  ”That is kind of far though.”

Walt”  ”That is why I have the sports car silly, so I can drive fast to visit you.”

-Submitted by Kimberly-

 

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Carseat fit in a Sports Car?

Who:  Mommy and Son (4)

My son was playing with a toy car and says,

Son:  ”I am going to buy a car like this someday.”

Long pause

Son: “Wait, will my carseat fit in it?”

Mommy:  ”I think you will be out of you carseat by the time you can buy that car honey.”

He nodded with approval.

-Submitted by Tina-

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Advanced Numbers

Scene: All over the place

Who: Mommy and Jimmy (4)

Background and Conversation: Whenever Jimmy is asked a question that should result in a number, he uses the number 69.
Day 1: Mom: “How tall is your Teddy?” JImmy: “69 inches”
Day 3: Mom: “How much does your toy car weight?” Jimmy: “69 lbs”
Day 7: Mom: “How many days was the dog lost in the movie?” Jimmy: “69 days”

I think he just found a high number that he now knows but “69″? Really? Maybe we should work on a different automatic high number.

-submitted by Ashley—

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Speedometer

Scene:  In the car

Who:  Daddy and Iza (6)

Background and Conversation:

Iza:  ”What is that red thing?” – Pointing to the dash in the car
Daddy:  ”That is the speedometer.”
Iza:  ”What is the speedometer?”
Daddy: “It tells me how fast I am driving.”
Iza: “Oh, you mean the thing that says 80 right now?”
-Submitted my Jeremy-
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Two Axles

Scene: At the kitchen table

Who: Daddy, Mommy and Tyler (4)

Background and Conversation:

Daddy and Tyler were building a car using a kit.  Daddy was, on the side, talking to Mommy about a work situation in which he was having some issues with two people at work.  Daddy said to Mommy at one point…

Daddy: “Yeah, I just need to figure out what I am working with.”

Tyler: “Daddy, you are working with two axles.” – But axles didn’t sound a bit more like “bleep-holes”

Tyler was just point out what Daddy had in his hands to build the car.

-Submitted by Jessica-

 

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