Learning to Read

Category: Kids

Girl (7) “Mommy, I can read everything….like “soothe” and “irritating”.”

-I am thinking she is spending too much time reading toilet paper packaging in the bathroom!

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Mommy, where’s your p-bleep?

In order to not have this site flagged as an “adult” site I inserted the word “p-bleep” instead of a well known male organ:) – The Bleep Kids Say!

Who: Both of my boys pulled this one on me, but only my youngest blew me away with the most absurd question and suggestion of all.

I was using the bathroom. As usual, I had no privacy what-so-ever.
My son, who was 3 or 4 at the time, came in and noticed that…something was missing.

Boy: “Mommy…where’s your p-bleep?”
Me: “Um, I don’t have a p-bleep.”
Boy: “Why?”
Me: “Because I’m a girl. Girls don’t have a p-bleep.”
Boy: “Oh, you just have a butτ”
Me (snickering): “Um, yeah.”
Boy: “Did you break your p-bleep and lose it?”
Me: “What?! No!”
Boy: “Don’t worry, Mommy. We’ll buy you a new p-bleep and fix it.”
Me: speechless…

-submitted by Jen-
Twitter: @1badmomcom
Jen’s Website: http://www.1badmom.com

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But Where Mommy?

Scene:  4 year old boy sitting on the potty, mommy sitting on floor in front of him.


Mommy: “Ya know honey, boys stand when they go pëe.  Do you want to try it?”
Matt: ”Do you stand when you go pëe?”
Mommy:  “No, girls sit.”
Matt: ”Why?”
Mommy: “Because their pëe comes from a different place.”
Matt:  “Where?”
Mommy: “Another hole.”
Matt:  “Can you show me?”
Mommy:  “Uh….no.”
Matt:  “Is it this hole?” While pointing as his rear.
Mommy:  “No, it is a different one.”
Matt:  While staring at Mommy’s “area”, “Does anything go in the hole?”
Mommy:  “Uh…no, do you want pancakes for breakfast?” – Change of subject

-submitted by Laura-
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What Happened to Mommy?

Scene:  In the bathroom

Who: Daddy and Son

Background and Conversation: Son is standing up while pëeing.

Son:  ”Why doesn’t mommy stand up?”

Dad: “Mommy doesn’t have a wëe-wëe.”

Son: Did hers fall off?

-submitted by David-


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