Bambi

Category: Kids

My husband read Bambi to my son last night:

Son(4): Did his Mommy come back?
Dad: No, the hunter killed her.
Son: Why?
Dad: Because he needed to feed his family
Son: That’s it, we are not eating animals anymore.  They have Mommies too.  We can only eat chicken from now on.

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Should be a pattern

Category: Kids

Usually my husband cuddles with my son a bit before my son falls asleep.  I go down and clean the kitchen since I am with the kids more and want to give my husband more time with them.  My son said last night…
Son(4): “Daddy, you are not fair.  Mommy always cleans the kitchen.”  Daddy tried to say something and my son cuts in, “No, you go clean the kitchen while Mommy cuddles.  It needs to be a pattern [using his fingers as a guide] Mommy, then Daddy, Mommy, then Daddy, Mommy, then Daddy.  You need to take turns cuddling with me.”

Daddy walked out with his tail between his legs.

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Butter

Stranger woman in her 30′s in a grocery while looking at butter, “Butter is the Smotha for a Motha.” Then looked at me and grunted.  What?

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Definition: Accident

Category: Kids

Son(4):  Mommy, why does that ambulance have its lights on?

Mommy:  Because there was an accident someplace.

Son:  Oh, I know what an accident is, it is when you do something bad and then say you are sorry and you don’t get a time out.

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Age Conditioning

Category:  Doctor

I am an athletic 37 year old but seem to be falling apart. My sports med doctor told me, “When you were younger, you could use soccer as conditioning.  At your age now, you need to condition to play soccer.”

-Thanks Doc!

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Stuffed Dead People

Category: Kids

I took my son to COSI today which is a Science Museum in Columbus, OH.  In one exhibit they had stuffed penguins and birds and such.  My son(4) asked if they were real.  I said, “They were alive but then died.  After they died they were stuffed so that we could see them and learn more about them.”  He seemed okay with my answer.

Later they had an exhibit with a mannequin astronaut guy sitting in a space shuttle.  He looked pretty real.  My son said, “Did he die and get stuffed too so we could learn more about him?”

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Dave and Jimmy, June 20th

Jimmy, “We are sex experts.”

Kelsey, “I once did “it” with Italian Ice…it was sticky.”

Jimmy, “I tried ice once…and got the flu…I swear!”

Ghandi repeatedly stated that doing “it” in water will land you a UTI.

Dave, “The horseshoe needs more caulk.”

 

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Quotes from June 18th Glass House Episode

Jacob, who lives in Oregon asks, “Where is Oregon, is it in the West?”

The youngest cast member in the house, Ashley stated, “I am the youngest cast member in the house and Robin is the oldest. She must be in her 60s maybe 50s?” (She was guessing). Robin is actually 43….Ashley was a bit off.

Alex states, “Kevin is a little baby back bi*$#@tch.”

Robin says to Joy, “Girl, you are the 50 Shades of Grey.”

-All taken from June 18th episode of Glass House

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