Category: Kids
Who: Mom, Seth (4) and Tyler (4)

Seth: “Is it daytime in China right now?”

Mom: “Nope, it is nightime.”

Seth: “So if I fly there now will it be daytime when I get there?”

Mom: “Yep?”

Seth: “Ok, I want to go to China.”

Mom: “Why?”

Seth: “Because then I will always be in daytime.”

Tyler (friend of Seth sitting at table with him): “I want to go to China too.”

Mom: “Why?”

Tyler: “Because that is where all my toys are made.”
-Submitted by Lisa-

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No Thanks

Category: Kids
Who: Mom and Daughter (4)

We were at a cookout and I asked my daughter if she wanted some Caramel Apple Salad.  She perked up in her seat then looked confused and said,

Daughter: “Did you make it?”

Mom:  ”Yes”

Daughter: “Oh, well…then no thanks.”

-Submitted by Sarah-

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Race Car

Category: Kids
Who:  Mom and Walt (4)

Walt and I went to get swim passes for the summer and they actually took a picture of him and gave him his very first “ID”. He was very proud of himself.

Mom: “Ahh, you are getting so big honey, don’t grow up too fast.”

Walt: “Why not?”

Mom:  ”Someday you will want to move out and Mommy will miss you.”

Walt” “Don’t worry Mommy, I will own a sports car and a truck. I will use the sports car to drive really fast to you every day.  Whenever you call, I will drive really fast to see you.  The truck is in case people need stuff carried, it is a dump truck.”

Mom: “Oh boy, you are going to need a pole barn to store it.”

Walt: “Bampa [Grandpa] has a pole barn. I will move in with them.”

Mom:  ”That is kind of far though.”

Walt”  ”That is why I have the sports car silly, so I can drive fast to visit you.”

-Submitted by Kimberly-


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God has Eyes Everywhere!

Category: Kids
Who:  Mom and Son (4)

Son: “Mommy, God can see everywhere ya know.”

Mom: “Really?  How does he do that?”

Son: “He has eyes all over his body [pause], well all over the front of his body.  Jesus also has eyes all over his body.”

He then positioned him and I back to back and said,

“God and Jesus stand like this.  They can both see in front of them and on the side so they can see everything.  They work as a team.”

Mom: “Wow, I guess we outta be good then huh?”

-Submitted by Lauren-

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Ninja fighter skills

Who: Grandma and grandson Walt, age 4

Grandma: So tell me what your Ninja fighter can do!
Walt: He has a sword and when he’s really strong, he can make tomatoes!
Grandma: Tomatoes?
Walt: Yeah, you know, those things that go round and round real fast.
Grandma; Oh yeah, tornadoes!

-submitted by Cindy-

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Movies and Sugar

Who:  Mommy and Walt(4)

Walt and I were playing an intense game of cars.  He caught my “bad” guy cars and put them jail. I told him I was strong and could bust out and get him. He said,

“No you can’t, I am going to feed you sugar and make you watch movies so you aren’t strong anymore.”

-Wow, I can’t believe he put that together!

-Submitted by Kimberly-

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Scare the Robins Away

Who:  Son(4)

Son, “Mommy, did you know Grandma has dogs to scare the robins away?”

Me:  ”No, really?”

Son, “Yeah, robins are really bad.”

-I still didn’t catch on for some reason and then the next day while playing pretend in a chalk village we made outside.

Son, “Mommy, you are a robin.”

Mommy, “Ok” so I started to whistle.

Son, “You are being really bad.”

Mommy, “Squawk Squawk” while running around waving my arms.

Son, “I caught you, you have to go to jail now.”

Son to friends, “My Mommy was a bad robin so I put her in jail.”

Finally it clicked!

Mommy, “Do you be robber?”

Son, “Yes, Mommy, you are a bad robin!”

-Submitted by Gina-

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The McDonald’s Oil Change

Who:  Mommy and Son(4)

Mommy said to Daddy, “I need to get an oil change soon.”

Son said, “Oooh, we can go to McDonalds, YIPPIE.” while jumping around excited.

Mommy, “Why are we going to McDonalds?”

Son, “For an oil change right? Grandma said they cook the french fries in oil.”

-While I am glad he understands oil is bad for you, I am not sure why he continued to eat french fries when he thought they were cooked in car oil!

-Submitted by Cindy-

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What we shouldn’t say…

Who: 5 year old boy

I am a preschool teacher. I could write an entire book on things kids say. One day we were talking about rules. I asked the kids to raise their hands and state a school rule. The came up with the regular answers – you can’t run inside, you can’t hit, etc.

And then….

“You can’t say bad words! Like, you can’t say “Oh My @$%#& God!”

I was mortified.

-submitted by Amy-

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Advanced Numbers, Cont. 2

This story is a continuation to Advanced Numbers and Advanced Numbers, Cont.

***Conversation 1*************

Friend of Mom:  ”I hear it is your Mom’s birthday today?”

Jimmy: “Yeah, she is 69 years old.”

***Conversation 2************

Mommy: “What game did you play with Lily today?”

Jimmy: “69″   – Because of his love for the number 69, I am assuming the game was a numbers game and this is what he decided to call it….hopefully!

-Submitted by Ashley-


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GPS Gone Wrong

Who:  Son(6)

Sometimes we use GPS to help us get places. These are some comments my son says to “the voice”:

“Hmm, no…” while waving his hands.

“Uh, she isn’t going the right away Mommy.”

“Don’t listen to her.”

“How does she know how to get there?”

“Is she coming with us.”

“Why is she a girl?”

“Who told her what to do?”

“That girl needs help.”

The list goes on..I don’t know where he gets this stuff!

-Submitted by Alicia-

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Who: Sam(4)

Sam asked about a girl at school,

“Mommy, is she a girl?”

-Notice he labeled “she” correctly but wasn’t sure “she” was a girl.

-submitted by Sheela-

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